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Best Jokes 2017- Learn Mandarin by Chinese Jokes

First, let me ask you some questions:

Are you often irritated, or in a bad mood?
Do you often feel very weak and often suffer from insomnia?

 

If you have these symptoms, now you’d better take some medicine.
Medicine? It is laughter!

The best way to get laughter is to read jokes, especially the best jokes 2017!

Best Jokes 2017

It’s a hard task to tell one joke that gets the whole room laughing.
How can you be sure which joke are going to make people at least laugh, and which are destined to sink like an anchor?
Don’t worry, The best jokes 2017 can help you avoid the risk, and it can also help you learn Mandarin Chinese happily.

笑话1- 有态度的蜗牛

一个家伙正在家坐着,这时听到敲门声。他打开门看见一只蜗牛站在门口。他拾起蜗牛,嗖的一下扔的老远。三年后的一天,传来敲门声。他打开门又看见那只蜗牛。蜗牛说:“这该死的到底是怎么回事?”

笑话2- 我的小狗不识字!

布朗夫人:哦, 亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!

布朗夫人:没用的! 我的小狗不识字!

笑话3- 汤姆的借口

老师:汤姆,你为什么每天上学迟到?

汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:”学校—-慢行。”

笑话4- 绳子还是公牛?

在监狱里,一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说:“我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候,看到一根脏绳子,以为没人要了,便捡起来带了回家。”
“但是,捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊!”
“我告诉过你我倒霉了吧?”那个人叹了口气,“麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。”

笑话5- 让狗来旅馆

一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,它很干净很有教养,你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”

旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,狗从没偷过毛巾,床单, 餐具,或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它,狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆,如果它为您担保,也欢迎您来。

Xiao Hua 1- you tai du de wo niu

yi ge jia huo zheng zai jia zuo zhuo ,zhe shi ting dao qiao men sheng 。ta da kai men kan jian yi zhi wo niu zhan zai men kou 。ta shi qi wo niu , sou de yi xia reng de lao yuan 。san nian hou de yi tian ,chuan lai qiao men sheng 。ta da kai men you kan jian na zhi wo niu 。wo niu shuo :“zhe gai si de dao di shi zen me hui shi ?”

Xiao Hua 2- wo de xiao gou bu shi zi !

bu lang fu ren :  o , qin ai de ,wo ba zhen ai de xiao gou gei diu liao !

shi mi si fu ren :ke shi ni gai zai bao zhi shang deng guang gao a !

bu lang fu ren :mei yong de ! wo de xiao gou bu shi zi !

Xiao Hua 3- tang mu de jie kou

lao shi :tang mu ,ni wei shi me mei tian shang xue chi dao ?

tang mu :wo mei ci lu guo guai jiao ,yi ge lu biao shang mian xie zhuo :”xue xiao —-man xing 。”

Xiao Hua 4- sheng zi huan shi gong niu ?

zai jian yu li ,yi ge ren wen xin lai de fan ren wei shi me bei guan jin lai 。xin lai de fan ren hui da shuo :“wo xiang wo zhen shi dao mei 。ji tian qian wo zai jie shang zou de shi hou ,kan dao yi gen zang sheng zi ,yi wei mei ren yao liao ,bian jian qi lai dai liao hui jia 。”
“dan shi ,jian yi gen sheng zi dai hui jia bing bu fan fa a !”
“wo gao su guo ni wo dao mei liao ba ?”na ge ren tan liao kou qi ,“ma fan de jiu shi wo mei you zhu yi dao sheng zi de na yi tou huan you yi tou gong niu 。”

Xiao Hua 5- rang gou lai lv guan

yi ge ren gei yi jia ta ji hua zai jia qi li ting liu de xiao lv guan xie liao feng xin ,“wo fei chang xi wang dai zhuo wo de gou ,ta hen gan jing hen you jiao yang ,ni neng yun xu ta he wo shui yi jian wu zi ma ?”

lv guan zhu ren li ji hui liao feng xin ,“wo jing ying lv guan hen duo nian liao ,gou cong mei tou guo mao jin ,chuang dan , can ju ,huo zhe qiang shang de hua 。wo ye cong mei you zai ban ye yin wei gou he zui hu nao er gan zou ta ,gou ye cong bu bu fu zhang jiu pao diao 。shi ji shang wo men fei chang huan ying nin de gou lai wo men lv guan ,ru guo ta wei nin dan bao ,ye huan ying nin lai 。

  • Best joke 1- Snail with an attitude

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’

  • Best joke 2- My little dog can’t read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It’s no use!My little dog can’t read!

  • Best joke 3- Tom’s excuse

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, “School-Go Slow”.

  • Best joke 4- Rope or ox?

The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home.
But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home!
I told you I had bad luck, didn’t I? the man sighed, The trouble is that I didn’t notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope.

  • Best joke 5- Let Dog in Hotel

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?”

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, “I’ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I’ve never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I’ve never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I’ve never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you’re welcome to stay here, too.”

  • 笑话6- 忘了摇瓶子

妈妈:你为什么不停地跳上跳下的?

汤姆:我刚吃完药,可我忘了先摇瓶子了!

  • 笑话7- 孩子VS理发师

一个小男孩走进一家理发店,理发师小声对他的顾客。“这是世界上最笨的孩子。看我来向你证明。” 理发师拿出一张1美元的钞票放在一只手上,另一只手上则拿着两个25美分的硬币,把小孩叫跟前问,“你想要哪只手上的?” 男孩拿走了那两个25美分然后走了。“瞧我刚才怎么跟你说的?” 理发师说,“那孩子就不会学聪明点!” 过了一会,顾客离开了理发店,他发现刚才那个小男孩从一间雪糕店走出来。 “嘿,小家伙! 我可以问你个问题吗? 你为什么不拿那一美元,而拿那两个25 美分呢?” 小男孩舔了一口手上的雪糕回答说,“我要是拿了那一美元的钞票,以后那理发师再也不会给我钱了!”

  • 笑话8- 能让我们的老师回去吗?

有一次,一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹,因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人,把他带进另一间教室,并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后,一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来,问道,“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢?”

  • 笑话9- 蒙住金鱼的眼睛

斯丹:我赢了 92 条金鱼。

弗雷德:你想在哪儿养它们?

斯丹:浴室。

弗雷德:但是你想洗澡时怎么办?

斯丹:蒙住它们的眼睛!

  • 笑话10- 我为什么大喊大叫

妈妈:玛丽,你为什么这样大喊大叫的? 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢?你看艾迪一声儿都不出。

玛丽:妈妈,艾迪当然不会出声了,因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢,他扮演爸爸,我扮演你。

Xiao Hua 6- wang liao yao ping zi

ma ma :ni wei shi me bu ting di tiao shang tiao xia de ?

tang mu :wo gang chi wan yao ,ke wo wang liao xian yao ping zi liao !

Xiao Hua 7- hai zi VS li fa shi

yi ge xiao nan hai zou jin yi jia li fa dian ,li fa shi xiao sheng dui ta de gu ke 。“zhe shi shi jie shang zui ben de hai zi 。kan wo lai xiang ni zheng ming 。” li fa shi na chu yi zhang 1mei yuan de chao piao fang zai yi zhi shou shang ,ling yi zhi shou shang ze na zhuo liang ge 25mei fen de ying bi ,ba xiao hai jiao gen qian wen ,“ni xiang yao na zhi shou shang de ?” nan hai na zou liao na liang ge 25mei fen ran hou zou liao 。“qiao wo gang cai zen me gen ni shuo de ?” li fa shi shuo ,“na hai zi jiu bu hui xue cong ming dian !” guo liao yi hui ,gu ke li kai liao li fa dian ,ta fa xian gang cai na ge xiao nan hai cong yi jian xue gao dian zou chu lai 。 “hei ,xiao jia huo ! wo ke yi wen ni ge wen ti ma ? ni wei shi me bu na na yi mei yuan ,er na na liang ge 25 mei fen ne ?” xiao nan hai tian liao yi kou shou shang de xue gao hui da shuo ,“wo yao shi na liao na yi mei yuan de chao piao ,yi hou na li fa shi zai ye bu hui gei wo qian liao !”

Xiao Hua 8- neng rang wo men de lao shi hui qu ma ?

you yi ci ,yi wei du xue qu shi cha yi ge zhi you san jian jiao shi de xue xiao 。yi jian jiao shi fei chang chao nao ,yin ci du xue zhua zhu qi zhong yi ge zheng zai zhan zhuo shuo hua de ren ,ba ta dai jin ling yi jian jiao shi ,bing rang ta zhan zai qiang jiao 。wu fen zhong yi hou ,yi ge xiao nan hai cong di yi jian jiao shi zou jin lai ,wen dao ,“nin shi me shi hou neng rang wo men de lao shi hui qu ne ?”

Xiao Hua 9- meng zhu jin yu de yan jing

si dan :wo ying liao 92 tiao jin yu 。

fu lei de :ni xiang zai na er yang ta men ?

si dan :yu shi 。

fu lei de :dan shi ni xiang xi zao shi zen me ban ?

si dan :meng zhu ta men de yan jing !

Xiao Hua 10- wo wei shi me da han da jiao

ma ma :ma li ,ni wei shi me zhe yang da han da jiao de ? wei shi me bu neng xiang ai di na yang an an jing jing de wan er ne ?ni kan ai di yi sheng er du bu chu 。

ma li :ma ma ,ai di dang ran bu hui chu sheng liao ,yin wei wo men lia zheng zai wan ba ba hui jia chi dao de you xi ne ,ta ban yan ba ba ,wo ban yan ni 。

  • Best joke 6- Forgot to shake the bottle

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?

Tom: I’ve just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.

  • Best joke 7- Kid vs barber

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’

  • Best joke 8- Can we have our teacher back?

Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, “When can we have our teacher back?”

  • Best joke 9- Blindfold the goldfish!

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom.

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold them!

  • Best joke 10- Why do I yell and scream.

Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn’t make a sound.

Mary: Of course he doesn’t. Mom, it’s part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I’m you.

What’re the benefits of reading Best Jokes 2017?

Now the humor has been one heated topic of madam developmental psychology. It plays an important role in our life. The sense of humor can increase the likability of the speaker, encourage people to work together, enhance perceived leadership skills and so on. A humorous man who likes reading and telling jokes radiates a general pleasure. They know how to clever melt embarrassing and win the heart of his dream lover. Often read funny jokes can make you humorous.

  • Having an outgoing personality

People who like reading jokes know the joy of life.
No matter what life gives them, no matter how they fall into the plight of trouble, they are always optimistic and persistent, believing “there is always a way out.” They know they should be hopeful, have to make themselves happy! Which helps them to get more good friend easily. You can imagine: two people stand before you, one is very confident, assured and outgoing, and the other is shy and very quiet. If you are supposed to choose one as your friend. Now the question is coming. Which one do you want to choose?

  • Creating passion to our life

The stress of life seems to have stripped many of our passion and excitement. When we go home after a busy day, a wave of exhaustion runs over us, we start to complain about life and miss the carefree young age. But why don’t you try to read some jokes? Like this best jokes 2017, which can let you laugh and laugh, Through the laughter, the fatigue has become a trace! And your passion to life and job will come again! Tomorrow will be more bright!

Best jokes 2017

But as every coin has two sides, jokes also has its negative impact!

For example, you tell a joke when someone is in sadness, your jokes will be a kind of offense and make others more unhappy!

So We should tell jokes on the proper occasion, or it’ll annoy others.

How to learn Mandarin Chinese through the Best Jokes 2017?

  • Master every character in the Best Jokes 2017

(As the essential prerequisite, you should master the Chinese Pinyin well, which will help you read these jokes.)

  1. Click on the “Chinese jokes”, where jokes are showed in Chinese character. You’re supposed to try your best to read and understand them.
  2. When you meet some character you don’t know how to read, you can click on “Pinyin Annotation”, where jokes are showed in Chinese Pinyin.
  3. After Looking up it in “Pinyin Annotation”, if you still don’t know the meaning of the character, now you can click on”English Explanations”! At this point, I know you will have gotten it, won’t you?

The procedures described above should be taken again and again. You can’t stop it until you master every character in Best Jokes 2017!

  • Practice reading the Best Jokes 2017

As we all know, the way to learn a language is to practice speaking it as often as possible. There is no deny that you should make your efforts to speak Chinese as often as possible.

  1. I think it useful to read in the morning. So you’d better read the best jokes 2017 after you get up, Which not only raises your level of spoken Chinese, but also gives you a cheerful mood!
  2. What’s more, you can tell the funny jokes to your classmates, your families, your workmates or your sweetheart. On the one hand, you practice your Chinese and show your humor to others, which can help you to score good points, on the other hand, it’s your pleasure to relay the happiness! — that’s hitting two birds with one stone(一石二鸟,yi shi er niao)!

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